The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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the passive ability to teleport to the center of the world every tenth of a second

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the power to do a backflip but only if you break your neck in the process

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The power to get rid of all advertisements, but only when your eyes are closed.

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The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

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the power of mind controlling...yourself

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The power to think up the best lines but forget them when you try to speak

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The power to fly into the sun.

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The power to time travel 60 seconds a minute

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The power to sweeten sugar

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The power to do control the atmosphere, but only in space.

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See through invisible people

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The power to make your boss s**t his pants during staff meetings

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Ability to emit a low-level light, but only when standing near a candle.

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The power to eat, just one, Lays potato chip.

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Infinite knowledge when dead

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the power to look directly at the sun only if it is on the other side of the earth

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The power to speak to toasters

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The power to ejaculate needles.

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Meltman, with the power to melt!

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The power to make the opposite of what you want to happen (and you can not think of bad things happening)

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The power to have no power.

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The power to identify a senior citizen by looking at their naked butt.

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the power to eat an apple in an instant but you dont like apples

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!