The power to journey into the future of the past.

The Power To Lick My Own Penis

The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

The power to do anything you want, but only when you are sleeping

the power to turn into a tree

The ability to talk to deer, only while riding one.

the ability to discern homophobic, racist, and mysoginistic posts on this site from the actually ok ones.. oh wait this is useful STOP BEING A JACKASS

the power to predict Justin Beiber's next album

To Shoot Piss Out Of Your Mouth Only If You Are Taking A Dump

The power to shrink your dick smaller but an inability to make it larger (even back to the original size).

The power to be able to turn invisible in the dark.

the power to see the present

The Power to Breath When Ur dead

The power of compulsive lying.

The power to sense the emotions of inanimate objects.

The power to perform incredible feats of strength and speed but only while on an elevator.

The power to turn on your tv with your mind as long as the remote is in your hand and has batteries.

The power to hold your fart unless people are around you

The ability to do moderately well on an exam while sharting next to your crush.

the power to give your mom amazing orgasms by doing her analy

The super power to do something pointless when you can be doing something pointless

The power to get an erection in the most akward of situations.

The power to shut me the F UCK UP! Moral: Ironically I have not said a single word for hours... so that would be impossible... Now, if you hear MY voice when you read this, then you are either psychic or psychotic, which is not that different if you ask me... Now.. if you hear YOUR voice inside your head, then YOU SHUT THE FRUCK UP AND GET LOST! :D :D :D :D :D :D (A MoralMan Original, now this one was pretty cool)

Brazilian waxing via telepathy.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!