Th power to be telepathetic

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the power to cook sandwiches when married

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The ability to levitate, but only when you're defecating.

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the power to like Liam Brudenell, That is pointless

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The ability to fall into 1cm cubed pieces when startled. No ability to pull yourself together, or move while in cubes. Parts must be reassembled correctly to re-connect.

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The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

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the power to only eat sugar, but not things that tastes sweet.

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The power to do control the atmosphere, but only in space.

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The power to solve any mathematical question, but getting frozen immediately, and forget everything when melted out.

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the power to turn yourself into a toaster. once,

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The ability to have X-Ray vision that only works on glass.

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The power to be so fast, that if you sprint forward you travel the whole world just in time to fuck yourself.

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The power of making your tits smaller

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to read minds, but only your own.

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Nobody in the world has super-powers.

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The power to wiggle your big toe whenever you have a car accident with a baby gorilla on the passenger seat every other Thursday of every other leap year.

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the power to shit yourself when you sneeze.

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The power to eat, just one, Lays potato chip.

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To be able to catch a speeding bullet with your head.

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Brazilian waxing via telepathy.

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The power of christ ;)

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the ability to type slower.

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???q? ?o?? sp??oq??? ?nq ????u o? ??!l!q? ???

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!