a power to turn liquid into goo!

The ability to read children's books twice as fast as any given child.

The power to read the bible, and then learn hypnosis, and look at the bible again... Moral: And they say hypnosis is worthless because it is just suggestions... the bible uses EVERY single trick in the book, and the bible`s teaching lead to the "holy" crusades (of kill murder and rape across the world, too many died to count), the bigotry, greater intolerance to different people, and just now (Bush before him) Obama is assuring his people that this war is "GODS WILL!" And seriously, if darkness is considered evil... then no wonder Captain America and his men did not hesitate to kill and enslave Captain Africa and his people a couple years ago... And its still going on, thanks lord (sarcasm, duh) Suggestion: Most powerful force in the universe, and it is invisible to boot... daaaang im powerful.

the power to die

the power to be a free wireless hotspot only when you are completely motionless.

Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

The power to tell when someone is using a cheese grater within 5 feet

The power to have any power when they are completely pointless to have.

The power to talk to your socks but only when they're dying...

The power to teleport to the center to the center of the Earth.

the power to pee shit and shit piss.

The ability to turn any escalator into a flight of stairs.

The power to look through really thin glas without any view obstruction.

The power to breath under water but only if you're holding your breath

The power to make rain stop, only on sunny days.

The power to enlarge your penis but only when you use a penis pump.

The power to wink with both eyes

The power to endure uncontrollable & highly noticeable erections at funerals

The power to blink, but only if polline gets in your eye.

The power to cure cancer pantients of minor rashes.

The ability to breathe oxyen, but only when in space.

The ability to irreversibly turn into a turkey days before thanksgiving.

the power uncontrollably explode expensive cars

The power to speed up wallmart lines; only if your're not in it.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!