The power to sound like a 12 year old while playing call of duty

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The ability to evolve into magickarp

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The power to die

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The power to do your homework, but only when you're in the class where the homework is due

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the power to write comic books

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The power to turn everything you touch into a crying, hungry baby.

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The power to make everyone else blink around you when you blink.

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The ability to know everything and get anything you want, but you must poop out a poop the size of a horse.

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The ability to go forward in time at will.

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The power to spell-check or at least reread what you're about to post.

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The ability to police irony

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The ability to die on command.

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The power to have sex with anyone you want in the world, but only after you die.

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the ability to do see through any girl's clothes but you must be singing a Demi Lovato song at 76.786 Decibels EXACTLY!

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The power to find pokemon attractive

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The power to only drink liquids

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The ability to fart extremely loudly every time you blink - but only when having dinnerwith your girlfriends parents for the first time.

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To have your speed, strength, reflexes and senses heightened to the level of whatever is appropriate in your situation.

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The power to vomit through your anus.

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the power to read 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 books every second

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The ability to change clothes instantly every 67 years

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The power to have every superpower ever (including pointless ones) for one second every full moon, then have every pointless one for the rest of the time.

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The power to melt into a pile of sentient goo, but be unable to move or change back.

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The power to smash people's heads in with things.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!