The power to stay a virgin

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The power to turn oxygen into carbon dioxide.

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The power to travel forward in time at the speed of normal time.

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the power to sugar a limpet

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The power to suck your own dick, by growing and shrinking your p3nis.

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The power to be able to teleport through a random fat man's colon.

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The power to grow one inch, but you need to shrink one inch to do so.

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The ability to watch movies in 1D

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The power to have wood when you wake up.

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The power to use the english language to grammatical perfection. er, ferpection.

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The power to type good morals under your comments. Moral: Ever seen me post an actual moral (even less a GOOD one?) Pssh! There is no such thing as good, not that I am aware of at least >:)

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The power to shoot string cheese out of your fingers.

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Power to vomit violently during royal weddings.

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The ability to climb into your windows snatch your people up and find your kids , find your wife and find your husband and rape them . ( only active in linkin park )

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The power to be still until moving or being touched.

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The useless power to write about useless powers...

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The power to have sex with anyone, but only if they are older than 65

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The power to turn into a pebble

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To call me maybe

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The power to see the present.

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the ability to fly- but only indoors

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The power to make condoms out of pizza dough.

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the power to know when it isn't either 4 or 9 o'clock.

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Ability to make your eyes switch sockets

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!