- Pointless Super Powers

The power to breath while under a container of water

The power to avoid metal detectors, but only when you have nothing metal on you.

power to type using my head.. .because my fingers are there

the power to make justin bieber a bad singer.

The ability yo smell your own breath, but only when you have a stuffy nose.

The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

The Power to fly for 13.56 Seconds on a Sunday afternoon after looking at a penny and spinning for 46 and a half times.

The power of reincarnate but have absolutely no memory of your previous lives.

The ability to not be able to say you have an ability

The power to abstain from sex until you're married. At age 83.

the power to control urine

The power to make vegetables horny.

the power to steal other peoples super powers but only if they dont have any

The Power So That Every Time You Fart You Jump A Inch Higher For A Second.

The power to change from a normal human to a normal human than die.

The power to shoot spiderwebs but only out of your fully erect dick

The power to sign every comment - Some douche (Scott?)

The power to get your comment 1st

Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

The power to read autistic people's minds

The power to create a real-life version of any video game character, but an equally capable evil version is also created and they can pay attention to nothing except battling endlessly with neither gaining the upper hand.

The power to strap wheels of cheese to your own body without getting tired easily.

The power to let anything you eat taste like sh*t

The power to die at will

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!