The ability to defy death... only when you commit suicide.

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The power to pee standing up

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The power to fly without leaving the ground.

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the power to have diarrhea at any time

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The Ability to ease hunger when you are full

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to have a face with the power to attract fists

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The ability to be the newest post until someone else posts.

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the power to add .1 mile to the odometer of nearby vehicles

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The power to shoot pencils out of your mouth every 10 seconds

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The power to be dumb enough to press the "congratulations! You are our 1 millionth visitor!" spam adds

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The power to stop writing stupid shit on the internet.

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The ability to to wrote something useless and waste all Saturday that you need to use to study for a test.

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the ability to only do pointless things.

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The ability to consume nutrient of the object what you swallow.

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the power to sleep during day

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The power to make doors disappear at will.

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the power to watch reruns of NBC's "Joey" in your head

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the power to shoot superman

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The power to tell if a movie is crap just by looking at its cover

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The power to control your own mind.

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The power to be a toilet but you can´t transform back again for the hole eternity and you still keep your sense of smell and taste.

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The power to generate fecal matter when being held at gunpoint.

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The ability to see the inside of your eyelids.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!