Hello.. I'm Captain Curteous & I'd jst like tol say F@@K THE LOT OF YOU. Oh no my powers are failing!!!!!

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The power to have bad luck!

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The power to summon a green Hippo that would mush up your poop in your toilet. Oddly, the superpower is only able to be summonded one a year, sorry.

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The power too shot seeds IF you are not alive

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the power to know what kind of useless power would you prefer.

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the ability to own a computer without a power cord

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The power to open a walnut with your mind

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The power to move microscopic specks of dust, but only one at a time, and only a few times a year.

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The power to trick yourself into thinking you have the power to trick yourself into thinking you have the power to trick yourself into thinking you have the power to…

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The power to turn into a cookie, but only when the person next to you is on a ravenous cookie eating spree.

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the ability to turn into random hats

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To be able to cut grass to the femtometer of any desired length, but only whilst standing in the eye of a hurricane.

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the power to walk through unlocked doors

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the power to do CALCULUS for homeless people you run into on the street.

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The ability to see the future but only when you are in the past.

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The power of x-ray vision only when you are naked in public. More people the stronger it is.

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the power to believe that you actually have superpowers R.R.

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The power to mind control inanimate objects.

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Guys, it's over.

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the power to never laugh at funny things but laugh nonstop at all other times

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Laser vision but only if you are looking into a mirror

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The ability to fly as long as you're touching the floor.

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The ability to crap out acid once every month.

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The ability to speak any language, but whoever you speak the language to doesn't speak or understand the language

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!