The ability to find any lost pennies, as long as you're Jewish

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The ability to pause time. However, this pauses everything. Even you. You are screwed.

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The power to turn swans into pigeons (but not pigeons into swans)

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The power to sweat blood uncontrollably out of your anus while singing to Justin Beiber and stabbing yourself in the dick with a machete

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The power to steal other people's pointless superpowers.

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The power that when you think of someone's face your nostrils are filled with the smell of their feet

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The power to jizz in your pants when you eat a grape.

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the power to do CALCULUS for homeless people you run into on the street.

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The power to have a small penis

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The power to ride a bike

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The power to understand irony.

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The power to have all your friends leave you

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The power of turning on the lights without touching the switch but only when its daytime

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The power to forget what pointless superpower you were going to write

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The power to make out of thin air

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The power to create little lightning bolts, but only by peeing on a electrical device, you can create little tiny lightning bolts.

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The ability to survive bleeding for a week but it forces you to turn into a total bitch .

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The power to fall off a tree, then land in spikes.

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The power to run at blazing speed but loose intelligence as you excelerate.

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the ability to write using your 'inside' voice but only once your vocal cords are compromised

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The power to turn any traffic light and crosswalk sign from red to green but only when your eyes are closed.

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The power to do no hand stunts by using your hands

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A power level of under 9000.

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the power to grow mustache combs from your fingernails, but lack the ability to grow facial hair

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!