The power to suck your own dick

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The power to help bitches stay alive! Bitches love staying alive!

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The power to eat turkey with nothing more than your mouth.

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the power to create your own real working money but you cannot spend it

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The power to do anything within your limits.

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The power to find a paper clip when you need one.

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The power to travel faster than the speed of light but never slower than the speed of light.

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the power to see the present.

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The power to pee quietly in public toilets.

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The power to look at Chuck Norris. I dare you to try.

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the pouwer giv mee gramr

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The power to shower naked.

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The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

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Power to turn your liver invisible.

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The power to travel a hour back in time by focusing really hard on it for two hours. Moral: Automorals roll out!

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The power to have super strength, but only when your sleeping.

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The power to age 2% faster every time you see the color purple.

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The power to be dyslexic at will

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The ability to change your eye colour at will. basically, you do this with a torch. Everyone can do this.

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The power to have super-sonic hearing, but only in the presence of the mute.

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The superpower to think that you have a superpower

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The power to make green lights turn red on approach.

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The ability to eat your enemies and get their powers only when your are starving to death.

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The power to fluently speak all languages of the world but only when you are sleeping.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!