The power to hold your breath while unconscious.

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The power to read the future in a language you will never learn to understand. Moral: I read that "thy comment expects a billion red thumbs"... WTF does that mean?

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The ability to like this post

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mint berry crunch

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The power to be away from the Internet without getting bored.

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The power to smell inside of your own butt.

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The power to masturbate only when someone is watching.

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The power to walk through walls, but get stuck half way!

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The power to only be able to eat poop

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To be able to go to the future but only at 1 second per second.

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The power to move and run faster than anything slower than yourself.

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The ability to make cardboard taste slightly less like cardboard.

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The power to turn water into wine.

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ikawlhan forever

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The power to teleport to the exact location there is a terrorist atack

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The power to chew ass and kick bubblegum, but be all out of ass!

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The power to make someone forget you as soon as they laid eyes on you making you lonely forever:)

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The power to have your entire body totally frictionless. Except for your nipples. They have a drag coefficient of around 5 parachutes.

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The power to know the answer of what is the purpose of life only after death.

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The power to have your mother suck your dick dry as long as there is any sperm in your balls.

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The ability to remember what you don't want to remember

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The power to have Chuck Norris not be able to do something.

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The power to eat junk food at light speed

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the power to shoot fireballs only when your underwater

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!