The power to grow your fingernails at 1.5% times the average speed, provided you contribute three hours a day to meditation.

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The power to forget what your superpower is

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The power to summon fire with the use of a match

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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the power to fly but only 5 feet off the ground and at walking speed.

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Tha ability to not be able to fly

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The power to be invulnerable while sleeping

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The power to cum cucumbers if you are a man.

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The power to magically summon a knife at a gunfight. Moral: "A knife in a gunfight is pretty good when the guns run out of ammo"

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The power to vote for the Presidential candidate of your choice, only to be overruled by the Florida Supreme Court.

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The power to ejaculate needles.

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The super power to shine in daylight

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The power to grow increasingly warm fur as your body temperature rises.

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The power to have perfect vision, but only in pitch black darkness

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The power to time travel 1 second at a time

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The power of heat vision* *Only for cooking.

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The power to cause slow people in front of you in the corridor to walk 3% faster

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The power to breath Earth's air, but if you stop breathing, or breath something other than air, you die.

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The power to be a MISSERABLE PILE OF SECRETS! BUT ENOUGH TALK (glass breaks) HAVE AT YOU! Moral: More are gonna get this one than those below, this one is merely a quote rather than cerebral. But you can always pretend to understand it by thumbing it up, or down if you just fail at understanding, either way is fine.

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The power to make anyone even on live tv such as news or sports to explosively crap their pants.

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The ability to hear people's thoughts after they've already said them.

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The power to lick anything except pussy.

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The power of singing piano playing and color blindness. Moral: "The skies are orange! Blue Roses too"

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The power to eat, just one, Lays potato chip.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!