the power to eat with your butt

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The ability to put on a glove that is slightly too large and have your fingers grow to fit the glove.

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The ability to teleport to distant locations with no way of returning.

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The power to shit out toilet paper.

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the power to get sick

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The power to make a watch that functions as a small phone and is named after a fruit. I would call it Applewatch.

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The ability when standing still you hover 1milimeter

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the power of losing and getting in 2nd place or 3th. the power of clearing your mind only for it to stay blank. the power of riding a horse really well aslong as you think it is a cow. the power of breathing AIR. the power of bellyflopping cement. the power of reading ancient arameîc. the power of speaking perfect gibberish.

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The power to magically summon a knife at a gunfight. Moral: "A knife in a gunfight is pretty good when the guns run out of ammo"

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The power to state the obvious at will.

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The power to finish anyone's sentience.

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The power to think up the best lines but forget them when you try to speak

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The power drown in water

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to make muffins appear out of nowhere.

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The power of becoming an apple tree

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The power to make remotes invisible

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The power to time travel 60 seconds a minute

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the power to be like charlie sheen and relize that my score is 0

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the power to have an organsim when your a boy

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The power to hover a milimeter off solid ground when performing a walking motion.

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the power to travel around the world in 24 hours

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The power to kill anyone just by threatening them with slavery and death and leaving foot and fingerprints all around their place. Moral: THREATEN MY PEOPLE WITH SLAVERY AND DEATH! THIS IS SPARTA!

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The ability to wake up at 3:45 am if you were sleeping, and not be able to fall assleeP again for 20 minutes.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!