the power to cook sandwiches when married

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The ability to jump

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the power to slitely change how you look by smiling

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The power to think of a clever comeback as soon as the person has left the room.

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I am derpin the erp to derp the derp the erp o o o o yeah derp frika frika frika derp derp derp

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The ability to swim in water.

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The power to lick anything except pussy.

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The power to instantaneously fall asleep but only when tomorrow is a day off.

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The power to turn random things that you touch into water, like in a schick hydro commercial

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The power to turn into a tree.

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The power to kill anyone just by threatening them with slavery and death and leaving foot and fingerprints all around their place. Moral: THREATEN MY PEOPLE WITH SLAVERY AND DEATH! THIS IS SPARTA!

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the ability to make toast while standing on your head at 12:46 every Tuesday Greenwich Meridian Time.

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The power to transform gold into nothing.

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The power to die instantly from not reading books, meaning if you don't read books you'll die.

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The power to control yourself

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the power to turn into a rock and you cant turn back into a human

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the power to suck at absolutly everything you do, except at failing.

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The power to worsen your own eyesight at will.

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The power to turn on a hot flash, but only when it's 80 degrees out.

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the power to turn wine into water.

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The ability to transform yourself into a Turkey but only with a brain larger than the head of a turkey. Note: People will become happy if they eat you for christmas.

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The power to get you`re dick stuck to a huge, heavy metal bar no one can lift nor move, either you stay there till you die, or you grab a knife and...

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The power to be MAGNETO! And have the power to WELCOME TO DIE! You dare not WELCOME TO DIE? AHAHAH! X-CHICKEN!

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The ability to discharge a battery - JW

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!