The power to shrink boobs by merely touching them.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The ability to cross the Do Not Cross tape at crime scenes

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The ability to headbutt yourself in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

The power to fuck your moms pussy at will (her opinion or desire means nothing to the will of your useless superpower!). Moral: SONS OF SICKMAN FRAUD REJOICE!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

the ability to take an apple core out of the bin at will

thumb_up thumb_down +23

The power to read captchas 2% faster than usual.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The power to make people disappear bye closing your eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The power to phase through walls whenever there is a door nearby leading to the next room

thumb_up thumb_down +11

the power to remotely jizz in someone's sock.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The power to get laid by your right hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The power to create another human

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The Power to rot you favorite food by looking at it

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The power to have the world's biggest cumshots, but to have a numb penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

The ability to crap out acid once every month.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

The power to make cats ask for cheeseburgers in comically broken English

thumb_up thumb_down +72

The power to make up pointless superpowers

thumb_up thumb_down +72

The power to convert metric to imperial

thumb_up thumb_down +72

The power to generate electricity, unfortunately, you're not resistant to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

having superpowers during the inquisition

thumb_up thumb_down +68

The ability to find a use for 8th grade Algebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

The power to see white objects in off white.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

The power to shrink without the power to return to normal size

thumb_up thumb_down +66

the power to eat 10 cotton balls every year

thumb_up thumb_down +66

The ability to quit smoking by giving yourself lung, heart, and throat cancer, coupled with enphysema.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!