the power to tell Austin Zachrich to go pee

thumb_up thumb_down +60

The power to compare anything to pr0n because "you know it when you see it."

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Nope. Just nope.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

the power of words

thumb_up thumb_down +48

The power to see through solid objects, but only when said solid object is transparent.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

The power to only sit down and not stand up.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

to be shitty

thumb_up thumb_down +44

The power to perform stan up comedy whilst sitting down

thumb_up thumb_down +44

The power to look beautiful/handsome when nobody is looking at you.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

the power to become translucent

thumb_up thumb_down +36

the power to imagine any women naked...but only as an octogenerian

thumb_up thumb_down +34

The power to change into an Arab at will. Moral: Will not work inside arab-countries.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

the power to be immortal, but only temporally

thumb_up thumb_down +32

the power to slightly darken the color of tree bark upon touch

thumb_up thumb_down +30

the power of the home depot lisp... and as an added bonus the power of how the universe works lisp

thumb_up thumb_down +30

to make your bowel work backwards

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The power to fly into the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The power to drink clean water (because i think dirty water is ewwy)

thumb_up thumb_down +24

the power to stub your toe while gardening and only cry for twenty minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

The power to walk on water, but only if its temperature is below 0° C

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The power to kill anyone just by threatening them with slavery and death and leaving foot and fingerprints all around their place. Moral: THREATEN MY PEOPLE WITH SLAVERY AND DEATH! THIS IS SPARTA!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The power to not get shit d*ck

thumb_up thumb_down -2

the power to spawn goosebumps when ever you want

thumb_up thumb_down -14

make your arm REALLY. fart power

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!