The power to control Rollie pollies

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the power to write about pointless super powers in universes that nothing exists.

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the power of running at superspeed, whenever you are sat down

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the power to shit out of your nose

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You're super strong, but only when punching SUV's.

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The power to make a woman be quiet but only during sex.

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The power to have excellent wifi when all your devices are dead.

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the ability to discern homophobic, racist, and mysoginistic posts on this site from the actually ok ones.. oh wait this is useful STOP BEING A JACKASS

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the power to feel pain whenever you breathe

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The ability to tolerate listening to Nick Cannon's albums.

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The power to make up pointless superpowers

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the power to emit free wifi which the signal strength varies by your erection.

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the power to turn into amy rose

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the power to dissaper into nothingness and appear in 2 years again while not noticing you skipped time...

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The ability to turn cement into pudding

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the power of shitting on your enemy at any tmie

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The power to be powerless.

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the ability to walk through your clothes

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The power to make money appear, but only when you don't want or need anything

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the power to Shoop Da whoop out of your bum hole

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The power to turn into a slightly smaller, weaker version of yourself.

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the power to extend commercial time while your in the bathroom

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The power to have no superpower

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The power to run at 0.5mph

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!