The power to hear what is happening to objects (such as a bed).

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The power to never get drunk

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The power to fart through your mouth and burb through your butt

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the power to be able to light yourself on fire yet not be immune to it

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The power to only be attracted to people under the age of 15.

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The power to kill anything you touch, but only when touching adorable puppies.

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The power to teleport to any 3rd world country

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The power to telekinetically pick your nose and eat it.

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The power to drink lethal poison without getting ill. But still dying from it.

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The power to drown on land.

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The power to walk on frozen water.

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The power to read the future in a language you will never learn to understand. Moral: I read that "thy comment expects a billion red thumbs"... WTF does that mean?

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the power to tolerate alex simpson

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The ability to fly a millimeter of the actual natural ground (cancelling stuff like concrete and water) or perfectly levitating; Criss Angel style

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The power to see what a person is wearing.

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The power to magically create a shampoo bottle in your hands but only when you're on the toilet

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The power to sleep and never be disturbed.

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the power to kiss your own ass

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The ability to levetate three-four inches only when you are alone in an elevator.

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The power to have all of your genes inherited from your parents

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yo mama

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the power to know when a politician is lying

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The power to sing in Portuguese, but only when you're being arrested.

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The ability to never see CGI in any movie ever again

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!