The ability to fart and pee twice in one go.

The power to swallow instead of spit

I have the power to force farts out of my ass.

The power to make only slightly funny jokes

the power to fall asleep in your bed and wake up in a trash compacter

The power to have gravity.

the power to see with your eyes open

The power to fly really fast, but only in one direction (down).

The ability to find a use for 8th grade Algebra.

the power to detect when there is oxygen near you

The power to know all the answers to life after you are fatally wounded.

The power to become sexualy attracted to everyone but the person your talking with

The power to play a snippet of Darude-Sandstorm whenever you inhale or exhale.

the power to do sit on your couch all day

The power to fall down in a forest, and, if none is around, noone will hear you.

the ability to die but to reappear as a strange families pet turkey

The power to never finish your sente

The power to make everything worse

The ability to see through invisibility.

The power to grow nipples all over your body at will

the power to never be able to draw a straight line with a ruler

The ability to teleport less than 1 inch once a day

The power of attracting lightning to your body, but not being imune to it.

The power to read a book in 2 seconds but forget everything but the title.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!