The ability to become shit forever.

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The power to revert to a six year old and teleport to the closest pedophile guild

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The power to be reading this when you can WORSHIP ME! Moral: You love me, I love me, we all win! Now, bring forth thy sacrifices, women, gold, diamonds, women, more women, yeah... And if you are a woman, you can come many many times with me...

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The power to become a forensic paranoiac raving lunatic at will... HEY! YOU! Why are you gonna give my comment a thumbs down eh? AND WHY A THUMBS UP? Are you gonna hack my account and kill my family? OH YEAH! OH YEAH? I AM GONNA KILL THEM MYSELF JUST TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU! BAHAHAHAHA!

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To be flaming gay. Both kinds.

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The power to type good morals under your comments. Moral: Ever seen me post an actual moral (even less a GOOD one?) Pssh! There is no such thing as good, not that I am aware of at least >:)

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Super-slowness

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the power of turn yourself into a mexican

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The power to levitate 0.000000000000001mm off the ground when going up stairs.

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No matter what you eat, always shit peanut butter.

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The power to breathe through your mouth when you have a stuffy nose

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The power to die spontaneously, and have no one notice

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the power to destroy the planet you are standing on

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to power to do the bird is the word

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The power to grow the most sexy tits ever. (If your a straight man)

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The power to wear comfortably wear shoes that are way too small.

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The power to shoot money out of your hands, but only when your body is on fire.

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Being able to have diarrhea when every you want.

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the power to live in lava, magma, fire, etc unless your body temp is over 120 degrees

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The power o know why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch

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The power to escape reality by entering the magical land of skyrim via your PS3.

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the power to fly while under water

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the power to complete math exercises

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The power to stop time, but be stopped with time also.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!