The power to lose your sense of touch and orgasm uncontrollably for five minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The power to have any power you want but only when it's completely useless to have it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The power to not die in lava but only when you are cold

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The power for chris not to eat spaghetti

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The power to have super speed for 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 milliseconds a century

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The ability to enter a coma but not be able to control for how long

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The power to become inverted background color.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

The power to do something when you do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

The ability to unknowingly make people to read this sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

The ability to speak to deaf caterpillers

thumb_up thumb_down +114

The power to go "flame on!" without fire immunity.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

The power to get massive boners when you are reading a presentation.

thumb_up thumb_down +108

The power of eating but only when you're dead

thumb_up thumb_down +104

The power to look super sexy, but only in pitch black darkness.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

The ability to explode upon contact with glass.

thumb_up thumb_down +102

The ability to turn bread into really burnt toast while no one is watching.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

The power to enter into a Coalition with the Conservative Party

thumb_up thumb_down +96

The power to be 10% more comfortable when sitting on a really uncomfortable couch.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

The power to turn food into human waste.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

The power to have horrible spelling while trying to write an ad for the pointless superpowers app.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

The power to see in the dark only when you have a flashlight.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

The power to grow fingernails.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

The power to climb up fallen trees

thumb_up thumb_down +86

The ability to find any lost pennies, as long as you're Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +84

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!