The ability to be a successful troll.

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The power to be able to understand any language, after studying that language until you feel comfortable that you know it.

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The power to fall up.

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The ability to jizz uncontrollably in your pants randomly during the day

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The ability to inaccurately predict the future.

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Power to find things in the last place you look.

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The power to jump 100 feet in the air, but only while you're in a building

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To seek and destroy edward cullen! lol not kinda useless tho xD

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The power to have a black president

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The power to kiss my mom' s ass from long distances

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the power to eat a ridiculous amount of bagels

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The power to make your family act like total rednecks but only in front of your girl/boyfriend.

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The power to like Justin Beiber

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The power to summon unspendable money

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THE ABILITY TO WRITE IN ALL CAPS

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The power to put water up my butt and squeeze and shitty water squirts out.

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The ability to pee as a gas, not a liquid

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the power to fly two inches above solid ground at the speed you walk

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the power to waste time doing stupid stuff like reading this.

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The power to not be able to reach the top shelf.

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the power to have the pleasure of sex with out having to do anything to yourself or anybody else!! heckk yes haha

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the ability to make a banana talk uncontrollably to itself but only when people around it are high. the ability to make a banana momentarily stop talking. the ability to allow a banana to sing uncontrollably songs strictly about being a banana, previously sung by a mammal. the ability to write funny things but only about banana(s).

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The power to speak any language, provided that no one around you can understand it.

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the power to make toast into bread

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!