The power to bleed on command

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The power to blink your eyelids in Morse Code

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The power to sing Friday by Rebecca Black perfectly when it's thursday.

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the power to see farther, but only in pitch blackness

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The power to paint as if you were michelangelo but only if your painting sad clowns eating knives

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The power to read people's minds, but only in the voice of Gilbert Gottfried

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The ability to be jealous of tom watts like jack moore

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The power to summon a bucket of lukewarm water every 12 days.

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The ability to play black ops anytime you want

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The ability to turn an airplane into a smart car, but only while they're full and in flight.

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The power to not get crushed, only if you're in contact with something.

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The power to never receive pop-ups when surfing porn, but only on gay porn

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the power to shit cellulose

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the power to be really itchy.

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The power to snore.

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the power to commit suicide when you are about to die

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The power to block every twenty third bullet, shot at point blank range.

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the ability to smile a tooth grin while pooping on your own chest

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The power to take your groceries from your car to your house in two trips or less.

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To control electronical devices, only while holding it's remote.

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The power to fly only when in a car.

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The power to order stuff online with your dad's credit card

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The power to wear your shirt backwards all day.

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The power to pee quietly in public toilets.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!