You can read the minds of rocks.

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The ability to know if there's an afterlife, but only after you've died

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The capability to draw penises very well

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The ability to innoculate against all non-existent diseases

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The power to turn aluminum foil into tin foil.

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The power to be Obama when he's not president anymore

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The power to achieve 98% opacity

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The power to walk through walls, but get stuck half way!

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The power of perfect 20/20 hindsight

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the power to become Homer Simpson's mom (R.I.P. her)

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The power to get hurt without a break.

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the ability to make a really long post ajsfffffhkshgdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddfgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggjssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssa

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The Power to fart glitter

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The power to shape shift, but only into yourself two inches taller.

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The ability to be smart, but only if you study for the first 18 years of your life

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The power to poop whenever you want.

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The ability to breath underwater but loses the ability to breath normally forever

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The power to run as fast as a cheetah! Moral: A dead cheetah...

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Power to instantly turn drunk

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The power of attracting fired bullets

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The power of intermittent hand seizures, at the most unfortunate of times.

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The power to never be surprised when the toaster goes off.

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Normal handsome man by day. Moral: Man by night.

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The power to completely understand Monty Python sketches.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!