The ability to look at someone and know the exact number of times they have farted in the past year.

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The power to be white but only in the city limits of detroit or compton.

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The power to be reading this when you can WORSHIP ME! Moral: You love me, I love me, we all win! Now, bring forth thy sacrifices, women, gold, diamonds, women, more women, yeah... And if you are a woman, you can come many many times with me...

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The power to be an artistic genius during a math test.

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The power to realize that at least half of the top ten "powers" are yours, and you don't know if you are proud or ashamed of having so little to do... On the bright side, you don't sign them like some other douches...

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the power to sleep during day

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The power to fly only when in contact with the ground

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The power to fart out of your hands.

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To have the power to breathe

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The ability to mimic your actions in a mirror perfectly

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The ability to turn invisible but only when no one is looking at you

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The power to turn water into wine.

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Being able to create duplicates of yourself, however you must give birth to these duplicates out of your anus (incredibly painful and its highly likely that you will pass out from the pain). And to disappear they must claw their way back up.

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Change the outcome of Disney movies 3 years before they come out.

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The power to have two eyes that can't see very far or through anything.

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The power to have sex whenever you want, but only with Rosie O'Donnell

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The ability to speak to deaf caterpillers

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The power to lick any telephone pole to call somebody in the winter.

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To be able to run the speed of light but only works if your standing still?.

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The ability to not freak out when your mom calls you

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The ability to be smart, but only if you study for the first 18 years of your life

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Super speed, but with super clumsiness

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THE POWER TO KNOW WHEN YOUR CAPS LOCK IS ON

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the power to absorb gamma radiation, but no resistance to radiation poisoning.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!