Read fortune cookies without opening them

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The power to see white objects in off white.

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The power to shrink without the power to return to normal size

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thw power to not feel anything during sex unless you dont like the sex (ie rape, ugly fat pearson)

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The power to nag at the speed of light before he even thinks about doing it you can literally nag him to death faster then the rapper twister can say his own name!!!

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The power to use the english language to grammatical perfection. er, ferpection.

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The power to become a laptop forever!

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The ability to quit smoking by giving yourself lung, heart, and throat cancer, coupled with enphysema.

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the power to hurl apples at force but only when you have drunk 20 litres of water in one go

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the power to tell Austin Zachrich to go pee

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The power to beat bad ass kids without getting arrested!!!

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The power to jump high into the sky, only to drop down later...

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The power to have a super power,

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the ability to turn into justin bieber, but they can only say i like you very much

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the power of words

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The power to shovel well. To shovel very well.

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The ability to evolve into magickarp

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The power to exaggerate everything, a power a billion, trillion overly trabillion times more powerful than anything, like 3000000 Chuck Norrises, except they are all weak in comparison to this power.

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Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.

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the power to be able to foresee your death within a millisecond of it happening

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The ability to pass out at will.

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power to fly when your underwater

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the ability to make your finger nails longer by 0.1 %

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The power to be a MISSERABLE PILE OF SECRETS! BUT ENOUGH TALK (glass breaks) HAVE AT YOU! Moral: More are gonna get this one than those below, this one is merely a quote rather than cerebral. But you can always pretend to understand it by thumbing it up, or down if you just fail at understanding, either way is fine.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!