The power to shit rainbows but have incredible pain while shitting them.

The power to think of a useless superpower, but start typing and forg........ GOD DAMMIT!

The power to levitate mustard.

The ability to float sideways very slowly

The power to do anything else but worship me. Moral: I DEMAND SATISFACTION! I mean I dont need it, I just want you to do something useful with your life for once... That practically makes me into a saint... Aww.... Steve Jobs No More... LOOOOOOOLLLIPOP!

a healing factor that can heal paper cuts in 2hours

to drink alot of alcohol and not get drunk

The power to sign every comment - Some douche (Scott?)

The power to increase the rate of plant and fungal matter growth by 15% by staring intently at it.

the power to not fall in love with someone while you're dating someone else.

The Ability to read another's mind, After insightfully asking them what they are thinking.

The power to produce fingernails at will that people can eat.

(PS: Neo was the seventh Jesus, we live in the matrix)

The power to stare directly at the sun

The power to speak with death people..

The power to understand the purpose of life, and every other world mystery, exactly .5 of a second before you die.

the ability to make a banana talk uncontrollably to itself but only when people around it are high. the ability to make a banana momentarily stop talking. the ability to allow a banana to sing uncontrollably songs strictly about being a banana, previously sung by a mammal. the ability to write funny things but only about banana(s).

the power to speak fluent clingon, but only to the non-metally disabled

thee power to not eat but still starve

The ability to morph into someone else's left butt cheek

The ability to teleport 1 Planck length in any direction you want

The power to see through things that are invisible.

The power to circumcise yourself

The power to correct spelling mistakes on road signs

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!