The power to phase through walls, but only when you're in an airplane.

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The power to fart out of your hands.

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The power to take a s*** on people

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the ability to kill yourself... twice

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The power of hearing peoples conversations but only on topics related to Shrek.

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Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.

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The ability to read your own mind

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The power to run slightly faster than Usain bolt

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The power to be invincible to every thing but fire water tornadoes bullets explosions guns knifes blades swords grenades sticks pointy objects disease infections sicknesses flu illness natural disasters accidents vehicles trucks electricity meteors bombs rockets drug addiction peer pressure starvation tiredness torture pain monkeys radiation.

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The power to laugh uncontrollably in funerals

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The ablity to slap a policeman and get away with it.

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The power to clap 14 times a second

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The power to be 6% fireproof

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The power to remember anyone's birthday unless you are at their birthday party.

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The power to sing that lame "Tomorrow" song from Annie uncontrollaby on Dec. 21, 2012.

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the power to think about pointless powers while watching pointless powers vid and writing a pointless power

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Be as cool as Julien Roby who go outside without is coat during winter

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The power to live in lava, but only when your cold

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The power to sharpen mechanical pencils and pens.

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the ability for things to literally go in one ear and out the other

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The power to not get shit dick

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The power to have an indestructible tongue.

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The power to regenerate, but only small cuts

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the power to SHUT UP ALREADY!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!