the superpower to turn into a chicken in a processing plant

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The power to sexually attract whales

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The ability to have laser eyes only when your eyes are closed, you'd kill everyone in your sleep!

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The power to make everyday Christmas once a year

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The ability to change races.

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The power to read minds only when people are thinking of broken pencils in a bowl full of acid.

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The power to travel back and forth in time by pressing your left elbow against your right armpit. It really works! Try it!

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the power to feed a dog peanut butter and not laugh

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The ability for your penis to tie itself into a knot.

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The power to talk in any language but you can't talk in the language of the country that you're in.

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The power to throw a rock at the ground and miss

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the ability to kill yourself... twice

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Being able to wiggle your left pinky & right ring-finger exceptionally fast.

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Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.

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The power to be dead

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The power to teleport all gold to criminals and or teleport criminals to gold

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The power to make water come out of your fingertips in a slow trickle, the way it looks in the shower.

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The ability to teleport into a wall

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The ability to not have a super power.

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The power to have a V8

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The power to rain fireballs down upon those you love.

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The power to be able to write the worlds best book or movie script but if anyone reads it, it will combust into flames.

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the power to live in lava, magma, fire, etc unless your body temp is over 120 degrees

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Eclairvoiance: The ability to forsee when you will eat your next cream-filled, chocolate coated pastry...

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!