The power to breathe underwater but only if you are dry.

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The power to hear people from across the globe, make people move with your own mind, and the ability to make people disappear from the Earth. Ladies and Gentleman, I call it MMORPG!

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The power to have a poo at your girlfriend's house and be only 22.2% sure that it will flush

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The power to swallow instead of spid

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The ability to have laser eyes only when your eyes are closed, you'd kill everyone in your sleep!

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The power to become a carrot.

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The power to orgasm every five.. UGGHOOOAAHAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The power to turn into a rolly polly, but only twice a year and for 5 minutes each time

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The ability to have X-Ray vision that only works on glass.

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The power to throw up and have it go back into your mouth

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the power to fart in 7 different colors

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The ability to sense a crime has been committed, but only after the criminal has already been caught and safely locked away in jail.

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The Power to Die instantly.

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The ability to speak all languages ever recorded in history, but cannot speak without using at least 10 of them simultaneously.

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The power to rule the world unless it's in real life.

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The ability to read minds, but it can only be your own.

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The power to get up early for school, only on the weekends

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the power to destroy the planet you are standing on

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The power to become a forensic paranoiac raving lunatic at will... HEY! YOU! Why are you gonna give my comment a thumbs down eh? AND WHY A THUMBS UP? Are you gonna hack my account and kill my family? OH YEAH! OH YEAH? I AM GONNA KILL THEM MYSELF JUST TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU! BAHAHAHAHA!

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Super-slowness

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The powers of findinf Waldo everywhere but in his books

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The power to instantly engrave your face into any urinal anywhere at will.

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The power of gentle breeze

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The ability to be able to be a supervillian, but only when you aren't being a villian.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!