- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The power to turn oxygen into carbon dioxide.

The power to be able to teleport through a random fat man's colon.

The power to grow one inch, but you need to shrink one inch to do so.

The power to suck your own dick, by growing and shrinking your p3nis.

The power to have wood when you wake up.

The ability to watch movies in 1D

The power to use the english language to grammatical perfection. er, ferpection.

The power to shoot string cheese out of your fingers.

The power to type good morals under your comments. Moral: Ever seen me post an actual moral (even less a GOOD one?) Pssh! There is no such thing as good, not that I am aware of at least >:)

Power to vomit violently during royal weddings.

The power to be still until moving or being touched.

The useless power to write about useless powers...

The power to drink an entire bottle of soy suase without dieing

The power to see the present.

The power to have sex with anyone, but only if they are older than 65

The power to have the money to buy anything in the world, however you only have enough money to pay for the price of the object and not the taxes.

The power to make condoms out of pizza dough.

the power to know when it isn't either 4 or 9 o'clock.

Ability to make your eyes switch sockets

The power to be lucky when you least need it (for example, you always have perfect toast, but you're not lucky enough to not get hit by a car)

The power to open shampoo and conditioner bottles by blinking.

The power to freeze time but you would also be frozen. Basically dooming everyone to be frozen in time with no way of getting out. No one would even know about it but it will happen.

The power to fly inside of airplanes

The power to be socially impenetrive.

Pointless Super Powers