The power to break your Nokia phone.

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The power to be 1% bullet proof.

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The power to teleport to hell. You cannot teleport anywhere else.

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The power to do anything as if you were god but only after you slay a mythical dragon and eat an Unicorn's poop.

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The power to...lick you're nose

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The power to believe that the only way is essex.

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The power to instantly pee when you see a person.

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the power to turn gold into cottage cheese

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the power to f**k your family all at once

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The ability to hear people's thoughts after they've already said them.

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The power to have a strong bladder for 5 minutes following urination.

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The ability to spit in random obscure crayola colors.

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the power to regenerate but only if your not hurt in any way

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The ability to money into dog shit.

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the power to float one atom above the ground

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The power to make people believe it wasn't' you who just farted

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Zebra Man has the power to change color from black to white and back again, at will

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the power to be incredibly charming and witty but only around old people and little children.

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The power to never sleep and instead go outside and think about your life.

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the power to suddenly have suicidal thoughts

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The power to be able to be a guy who can create and control fire but if it touches you, you still burn

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The power to turn anything you touch into cats

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the ability to see into the past

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Ability to shit nuclear waste

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!