the power to not watch south park

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the power to think 0.0000000000000001 microseconds faster than usual

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The power to defrost windows with the turn of a knob.

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The power to see what you were doing 5 seconds ago.

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the power to masturbate just one time a day

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the power to convince girls to have sex with you, but you don't have a cock

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the power to get STD's

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The power to kiss my mom' s ass from long distances

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the ability to make a banana talk uncontrollably to itself but only when people around it are high. the ability to make a banana momentarily stop talking. the ability to allow a banana to sing uncontrollably songs strictly about being a banana, previously sung by a mammal. the ability to write funny things but only about banana(s).

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The power to troll the Internet.

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the power to make your voice sound like a two year old little girl's.

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The power to be a human for 1 second once a month.

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The power to kill someone at 20 meters with your mind, but it doesn't work within 21 meters.

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Whatever dark, twisted Satanic ritualistic superpower it took to give birth to you you FUCKlNG ugly retard loser queerfag! Nero the clit collector.

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The power to summon a bomb... in your stomach.

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Super strength, but when nobody is watching, (including you)

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The ability to have pockets in your skin that can only fit carrots.

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The power to speak Italian fluently while dining in a Chinese restaurant.

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The power to dive through an ocean without having to breathe, but only if the ocean is made of vomit.

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Captain Obvious`s powers. A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

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the power to say funny joke, but only deaf people can hear it.

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The power to have psi superpowers... but YOU NEED TO CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS!

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The power to know WTF is going on

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The power to open a walnut with your mind

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!