The true motor of bliss runs on sex and ice cream with no flavor but calling august to see if life will eat us all or not. And she is. And he is. But the dance is corrupted with none-music and machin touch down there.....

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The power to be invulnerable as long as you are dead.

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The power to be super strong, but you have to be totally wasted for it to work.

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the power to murder Joey and get away with it

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The power to switch your left pinky toe with your right big toe and vice versa.

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Your mom is so ugly, she was mercilessly bullied through high school and had severe depression and self-esteem issues. The power to post anti-jokes only on pointless superpowers.

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The power to travel faster than the speed of light but never slower than the speed of light.

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The power to open any door by using the proper key.

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Power to develop diseases.

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The power of making toast land butter-side up

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The power to know that Han Solo dies

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The power to turn your hair ginger at a whim.

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The power of playing a game while doing nothing else

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The ability to get aids and stay a virgin.

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the power to get every girl, that you're not into.

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The power to taste the colors of M&M's.

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The power to kick a kid in the balls.

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The power to become the worlds most famous necrophilia pornstar after dying.

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The ability to immediately gain stage four stomach cancer.

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The power to increase gravity and every time you get use to it, it goes up more

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the power to dance in the dark

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The power to speak to unicorns, even though they don't exist

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The power to smell thoughts.

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The ability to grow a beard whenever anyone in the world shits

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!