the power to read the thoughts of inanimate objects.

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The Power To Become A Housefly And Be Immediately Killed By Your Mother

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The power to read the entire Twilight series withou suffering brain damage, only once you have to read all four books in the same sitting.

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The power to be happy whenever you want, but only at funerals

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The power to be quite good at checkers.

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The power to turn wine into water

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LIME

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the ability to transport anywhere and into any situation, but you never know where

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the power to give aids. but only to one person in the world that already has aids

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The power to change the channel with your mind, but only to the Weather Network.

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The power live 0.0000001 seconds longer.

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The power to transform you in something randomly

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The power to start laughing uncontrollably when someone says the word "ferret"

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The ability to shapeshift into any items but only pedophiles can use it

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The power to clap louder than anyone else in the room but only at inappropriate times

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The power to state the obvious.

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The power to walk on water, but only when it is below 0 Degrees Celsius.

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the ability to restart the universe over and over again until existence is ripped apart

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the power to shit liquidly

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The power to teleport to a singular spot 500 meters above sea level and you don't have any other powers.

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The power to fly for as long the average human is in the air during a vertical jump.

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the power to make your best friend's crush fall in love with you, but not your own crush.

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the power to make pigs fly.

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the power to crap big mac combos at will

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!