the power to be the idiot who is reading this website instead being a person because they lost their souls after there ex dumped them and they turned into horny trans-gender whores

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The power to poop whenever you want.

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To be able to go to the future but only at 1 second per second.

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The power to move and run faster than anything slower than yourself.

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ikawlhan forever

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The power to turn water into wine.

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The power to get any car you want but once it runs out of gas you have to get a new one and can not be the same model.

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The power to have your entire body totally frictionless. Except for your nipples. They have a drag coefficient of around 5 parachutes.

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The power of finding an object that you thought it disappered in a black hole in your bedroom.

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the power to shoot fireballs only when your underwater

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The power to remember the funniest thing in the world and have a full on laughing fit, as long as you are at a funeral.

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make youself dumb

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The power to surround yourself in fire, but only when you're underwater.

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The power to be 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 seconds younger

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The power to bleed out of your nose all the tme.

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the power to feel pain whenever you breathe

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The power to have razor sharp facial hair.

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the power to see the present

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The power to run people over with a tractor.

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The power to not be able to laugh at good jokes and always have to laugh at the bad ones.

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the power to hear any alvin and the chipmunks song you want, but only when you have a migraine

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The power to make someone hate crayons by poking your left eyebrow while looking at them.

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The power to fly 0 feet in 60 seconds

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the power to add .1 mile to the odometer of nearby vehicles

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!