The power to make Thursday come before Friday and after Wednesday.

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The power to punch that like button

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The power to think your dreams are real.

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The power of telepathy but only when you alone

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The power to magically summon a knife at a gunfight. Moral: "A knife in a gunfight is pretty good when the guns run out of ammo"

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The power to do a hand stand with your feet

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The power to fart on a zebra when you are next to a zebra and have to fart.

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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The power to turn on your tv with your mind as long as the remote is in your hand and has batteries.

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The power to see the future five days after it has happend

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Be invincible...but only when you're NOT in danger.

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power to breath fire but only through your nose

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The power to make broccoli turn purple and give it eyes

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the ability to be 2Pac the day he got shot

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the power to send text messages while driving

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the power to see 3 seconds into the past.

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The power of christ ;)

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The power to unscramble an egg, but only after you've eaten it.

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The power to run really fast, but only when facing brick walls 2 ft away.

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The power to have any computer in the world but it has to be before the 1990.

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the power to be an incest pedo called jack sanders.

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The power to skid against the ground at 45 mph

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The power to think of words that rhyme with orange.

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The ability to bring statues to life but they can't move or talk

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!