The ability to add any two numbers and get 5

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The power to wear shirts considerably more often than others.

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The power to spend your money on yourself, when you gotta do something useful with it, like giving it to me. Moral: GIVE ME THY TRESUUUR!

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The power to turn wine into water

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The power to breathe but only when your dead uncle breathes

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The power to fight your way out of a wet paper bag.

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The power to read terms and conditions

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The power to fly only 5mm above the ground.

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The power to turn a light on with your mind, but only if the light is already on

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The power of gentle breeze

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The power to burst into flames (Like the Human Torch), but immediately burn to death after doing so.

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the power to sit

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The power to drink 10 gallons of water only when you desperately need to piss.

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The power to stick your head up your ass

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The power to be able to make something usable but have it disappear when you try to use it.

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the ability to shoot with 0.100% accuracy

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The ability to fly 1/2 mm above ground, and only on dry land... no water walking

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The power to make some else throw up only if u throw up on them

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The ability to turn into an apple--but not be able to turn back.

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you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

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The ability to generate bellybutton lint at will.

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The power to make any single girl instantly reach for her Mace.

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The power to talk without a tongue

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The power to die from darting too hard

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!