The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

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The Power To Lick My Own Penis

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The power to smell a fart from a 500 mile radius.

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The ability to hear people's thoughts after they've already said them.

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the power to turn into a tree

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The power to do anything you want, but only when you are sleeping

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The power to make any single girl instantly reach for her Mace.

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The ability to talk to deer, only while riding one.

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the ability to discern homophobic, racist, and mysoginistic posts on this site from the actually ok ones.. oh wait this is useful STOP BEING A JACKASS

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the power to predict Justin Beiber's next album

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The power to shrink your dick smaller but an inability to make it larger (even back to the original size).

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To Shoot Piss Out Of Your Mouth Only If You Are Taking A Dump

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The power to be able to turn invisible in the dark.

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The power to jump face first

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The power to fly but only when your eyes are closed.

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The power to sense the emotions of inanimate objects.

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The power of compulsive lying.

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The Power to Breath When Ur dead

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The power to shoot billions of neutrinos from your hands at an enemy.

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The power to perform incredible feats of strength and speed but only while on an elevator.

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The power to turn on your tv with your mind as long as the remote is in your hand and has batteries.

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The power to hold your fart unless people are around you

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the power to give your mom amazing orgasms by doing her analy

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The ability to do moderately well on an exam while sharting next to your crush.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!