the ability to spin gold into straw

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The power to turn into a magikarp

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The power to spit venom, but it misses 99.9% of the time.

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The power to see through walls, but only when you're in a glass room.

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The power to think your dreams are real.

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the ability bend your legs in a perfect circle

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The power to travel in time for 2 seconds

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The power to grow nipples all over your body at will

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The power of slowing down your reflexes respond whenever you want.

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The ability to read children's books twice as fast as any given child.

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The power to read minds, but only that of someone who is watching Twilight.

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The ability to look at the sun and not go blind. Because your already blind in the first place.

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The power to attract lightning strikes to yourself.

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The power to die on the spot and not revive

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The power to fly, but only when you touch the ground.

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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the power to have an organsim when your a boy

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The ability to eat fruit cake without gagging.

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the power to make hate films against Islam... theres no space for bigots and jerks on this Earth.

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The ability to replace your DNA with parmesan cheese.

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the power to know how your going to die right before you die.`

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ability to run very fast forever

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thw power to not feel anything during sex unless you dont like the sex (ie rape, ugly fat pearson)

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The power to cum out of your finger tips

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!