The power to vote for Hillary Clinton and be happy with the decision that you made.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

the power to make your nipples taste like shit and your shit taste like nipples

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The power to kill any one of your direct ancestors back in time.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The power to buy "I cant believe its not butter" and turn the damn thing into real butter.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The power to see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The power of funk, but only on Tuesdays between 2 and 3 AM.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The ability to teleport but you poop your pants whenever you do it even if your not wearing pants

thumb_up thumb_down +25

The power to see even though you can already see.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

To summon a duct tape PEICE for 3 seconds then disappears but you can only do it each century

thumb_up thumb_down +25

The power to have explosive diarrhea involuntarily but only on dinners with your date and his/her parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

The power to see your reflection with The Mirror

thumb_up thumb_down +25

The ability to transform yourself in to a vibrator that is about to be used. Only works if you are gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

The power to RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE, only for becoming a homoerotic bodybuilder addicted to steroids made from white bull testicles, and eating so many that you eventually become a golden werewolf, a blue hedgehog or something like that...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

The power to produce fingernails at will that people can eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

the power of being yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +23

The power to write a moral under each comment. ( Just a thought: when did most of these become superpowers? I mean is women`s period become superpower? And becoming Justin Beiber? A superpower? I need to change my definition...)

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The power to shift baroque and rococo era paintings proximately 2" up and 3" to the left.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The power to create a clean and temporary bathroom only you can use when you don't have to use one

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The power to shit 1 penny per every year

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The power to have any girl as your girl friend but they turn ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The abiltity to grow an additional 4 fingered hand from your inner thigh

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The power to count the number of hair on your head.... Backwards!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The power to smell bacon and/or ham at 3 o clock in the afternoon on the second Saturday of March

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Moral man. Moral: I have self irony... which isn't a superpower... neither is being me... But its at least Super pointless and I have the power to do this... SO CLOSE! SO DAMN CLOSE! :(

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!