- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The power to eat junk food at light speed

The power to breathe fire but onle when under water

The power to become me. Moral: You could not handle the awesomeness and would ruin yourself just so you can feel "normal" rather than awesome.

The ability to defy death... only when you commit suicide.

The power to be a bird that can't fly

the power to be the best looking person but only to rapists.

The power to fill in ___ blank

The power to die spontaneously, and have no one notice

the ability to turn a banana into an apple at will, but only for a few seconds.

The power to make all girls look pretty but only in your head and only if you drunk enough.

The power to imagine boobs whenever you want at any time

The power to be fluent in every language but only when your head is fully submerged underwater.

The ability to lose 0.000000000001 percent more skin per year.

The ability to sweat poop.

The power to heal any wounds caused by the bite of an Indonesian speckled carpet shark in an area of slightly tepid saltwater any time between 3:00 and 4:00 in the afternoon

The power to fly as long as your feet the ground

The ability to fly but only when you touch the ground.

the power to get a 100" erection but only over your dead greatgrandma

The power to lose the remote.

The power to pick your nose but you happen to be Lord Voldermot

The power to have superpowers in your dreams.

the power to sleep while standing!

The power to change laws if you're allowed to.

The ability to get out of bed in a Monday morning even though you don't want to

Pointless Super Powers