The power to party like it is 1999 despite it being 2011

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The power to microwave bread

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The ability to poop glue.

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power to get a cold in the wintertime.

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The power to have the strength of 50 old people

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The power to sing at an uncontrollably high level, but not have the ability to dodge a water bottle

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the power to turn into the hardest material in the whole of space but while in that mode you cant move

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The power to die at will, and you can only do it once.

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The ability to unbleep swear words on your tv.

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The power to change the color of your saliva.

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The power to have tastebuds inside your ass.

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The ability to orgasm every time you speak.

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the power to eat waffles

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The ability to create one iron nail. The power can only be used at 12:45 P:M every five days, and will only work if the nail you created previously has been destroyed and/or broken down to a state in which it would be unusable as a typical nail.

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The ability to fly but only if you're on the ground

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The power to be stupid reading this.

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The power to take offence to anything said or done like it matters...

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The power to glow in rooms with reddish purple walls

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The power to teleport to the place of where you are

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The power to eat gumbo with a fork.

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The power to die whenever you fall asleep

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The power to piss as if you were in zero gravity and leave your big piss ball floating in the bathroom.

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Being able to temporarily lift 10x what you can typically lift while simultaneously having the power that everything you touch immediately becomes 10x heavier.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!