The power to turn any traffic light and crosswalk sign from red to green but only when your eyes are closed.

The power to have a second brain, but it has the IQ of a rock.

The ability to know exactly where every Canadian penny within 5 feet of you is.

The power to outthink the smartest people ever conceived, but only remember what you though for an attasecond.

The power to do no hand stunts by using your hands

The ability to never have to take a shit again

the ability to say "you're killing me", without irony...to my murderer

The power to reproduce asexually.

The power to spend your life doing things that are totally pointless

the power to not fall in love with someone while you're dating someone else.

power to take a dump through your front (if you know what i mean)

The power to only be able to mind control goldfish one at a time

the ability to make a banana talk uncontrollably to itself but only when people around it are high. the ability to make a banana momentarily stop talking. the ability to allow a banana to sing uncontrollably songs strictly about being a banana, previously sung by a mammal. the ability to write funny things but only about banana(s).

The power to breathe out when you need to breathe in and vice versa.

The power to cook minute rice in 58 seconds.

The power to shatter a mirror just by staring at it.

The power of eating but only when you're dead

The ability to wear one shoe on both feet.

The ability to be 16 and sing like a woman and only have 10 year old girls like you

The Power to have all the super powers ever, fly great distance. Strength unparrelled. Sight bbeetter than any human on the planet. But your Spanish as well

The ability to write a pointless superpower, which was posted earlier without having read it.

The power to turn swans into pigeons (but not pigeons into swans)

The power to be justin beiber

The power to be immune to every third bullet.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!