the power to get STD's

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the ability to make a banana talk uncontrollably to itself but only when people around it are high. the ability to make a banana momentarily stop talking. the ability to allow a banana to sing uncontrollably songs strictly about being a banana, previously sung by a mammal. the ability to write funny things but only about banana(s).

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The power to tell if a politician is lying. (They always are.)

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The power to turn any traffic light and crosswalk sign from red to green but only when your eyes are closed.

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the power to make your voice sound like a two year old little girl's.

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the power to change the day to sunday at 5:59am

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The power to be a human for 1 second once a month.

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7|-|3 p0\/\/3r 70 0|\|L'/ b3 4BL3 70 r34D 4|\|D \/\/r173 1|\| L337 $P34|

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the power to sell jars of bodily fluids for $25 each but get arressted shortly after

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The power to kill someone at 20 meters with your mind, but it doesn't work within 21 meters.

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The power to keep hair from growing on your head forever.

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The power to defrost windows with the turn of a knob.

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The power to grow boobs

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The ability to spawn any object at will,but only when your saying that you have too much of that object and actually believe yourself when you say it.

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Whatever dark, twisted Satanic ritualistic superpower it took to give birth to you you FUCKlNG ugly retard loser queerfag! Nero the clit collector.

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The power of being mysterious. Terribly mysterious. And possibly being capable of cutting guns in half with one's mind.

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The power to see what you were doing 5 seconds ago.

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Super strength, but when nobody is watching, (including you)

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The power to turn your external hearing off, only to replace it with the sound of very, very slow internal dubstep.

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The ability to have pockets in your skin that can only fit carrots.

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The power to run if you have no legs

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The power to speak Italian fluently while dining in a Chinese restaurant.

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Find Waldo

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Captain Obvious`s powers. A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!