The power to drink 30 beers and no shall any tear

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The ability to melt ice cubes with your bare hands.

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The ability to be in Rosy O'Donalds underwear drawer

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The power to come up with fantastic comebacks, at the person's funeral.

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The power to move infinitely fast up spiral staircases, but the inability to go down them.

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The power to be Emperor of farmville but only in a full eclipse

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the ability to talk to animals, but only when discussing politics

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The power to manipulate time and space to urinate straight into your bladder, but only if you are extremely dehydrated.

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the power to steal 4 avocados in july at a supermarket at 9:37 am in your underpants without arms while a cop laughs at how stupid you look. plus while you do that a cute marshmallow comes and rapes your children.

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the ability to type at pointlesssuperpowers.com

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the power to make your nipples dissappear

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vomitspit

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The power to attract flies and cockroaches

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The power to shit someone elses pants.

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the power to sense the next viewing of the hit musical 'CATS'

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The power to kill any conversation you have.

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The power fuse yourself with a two lifeless jellyfish use their vital systems

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The power to pass incredibly powerful gas at the most inconvenient of times

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the power to become invisible when no one sees you including security cameras

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the power to unload massive amounts of jizz while taking a dump

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The ability to wear a backpack on your legs

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The power to hear everyone masturbating in 1 km radius

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the power to speak in sign language.

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Facebook.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!