The power to walk up stairs faster then normal.

The power to get off the internet and do something productive

The power to smell you poop after you flushed

The power to live forever but only in a coma.

Immunity to everything but AIDS, bears, being choked with cloth, Donald trump, Energy Blasts, fire, guns, etc.

The power to always know the exact time.

The Power to clone yourself instantly, but one of you dies!

To be able to commit a sexual offense but never get away with it

the power to stand straight but only when you bend over

The power to see when your eyes are not closed.

The power to burst into flames (Like the Human Torch), but immediately burn to death after doing so.

The power to be normal.

The ability to grow your hair at an ever so slightly extended rate!

The power to laugh in Japanese.

The power to see through glass doors.

The power to unsee the unseen.

The power to think that you can fly when you wear a cape.

The power to put your pants on, two legs at a time.

The ability to talk to bacteria

The power to poop without wiping

The power to compare anything to porn because "you know it when you see it."

Shit bricks I love itttttt

The power to instantly reduce the sales price of an item to ten percent of the original but you must buy at least ten.

The power to not be moral man. Moral: Your thumbs down cant hurt me! Are you a fucking ass? IM THE MORAL MAN BITCH!

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!