The power to summon garden mushrooms in the top of your head every time you're having a serious talk to anyone

The power to think of a perfectly good comeback three days later.

The power to fly 0 feet in 60 seconds

the power to morph into yourself

The power to ejaculate laser beams.

The power to make spinach taste like brussel sprouts

The power to self destruct

The power to suck your own dick, by growing and shrinking your p3nis.

The power to kill yourself with a piece of paper.

The power to stop a bullet from hitting someone you care about, once.

The ability to make cheese, only edible to vegans, but only on leap days

The power to be missed when present.

The ability to evolve into magickarp

The power to change traffic signals to anything that is not beneficial to you.

the power to control nothing

The power to die,but only if your alive!

The power to blow up, before a bomb next to you blows up.

the power to fire angry ticks out of your nipples

The power to break a Nokia

The power to laught at Tyler Perry's House of Payne

The power to grow a mustache anywhere but on your face

the power to do nothing

The power to pee, REALLY LOUD.

The ability to find the sharpest object in an given drawer, by having it puncture your hand. Every time.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!