The power to breathe but only when your dead uncle breathes

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the ability to grow trees in the desert

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the power to disappear up your own asshole

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The power to run half as fast as whoever is chasing you.

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The ability to not slip on banana peels

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The power to swim on land.

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The power to be 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 seconds younger

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power to age faster

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The power to turn your current clothes inivisible

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the power to fail at everything you do

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The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.

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The ability to fly 1/2 mm above ground, and only on dry land... no water walking

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Power to not have any power.

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The power to always have the exact amount of money in your pocket when buying something, but then drop and lose a dime when the money over.

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The power to touch MC Hammer.

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The power to change into an Arab at will. Moral: Will not work inside arab-countries.

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Listen to Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black everywhere you go.

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The power to kill anyone by hitting them gently on the forehead by yelling "I HIT THIS VICTIM REALLY HARD! I AM A MURDERER HAW HAW HAW! At least 2 times before, then 3 times after the deed.

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The ability to seduce any woman.....over 200lbs......that was born with a penis.

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The power to talk without a tongue

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The ability to grow breasts once a year.

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the power to defecate while standing up...

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The power to die from darting too hard

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The power to walk at the speed of light, but not any slower.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!