Why didn't little jimmy get anything for christmas ? He is dead.

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The ability to run at the speed of light, but being born without limbs.

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The ability to dissolve your own organs. They don't grow back, either.

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The power to spontaneously grow a beard, except you lose hair from your head..... it also takes about a month.

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to wash cloths when they are washing

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The power to lick your own elbow

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The ability to perfectly feign death for 10 days (no less), then wake up in a very small place.

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the ability to run for president only if you're sarah palin

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The power to cum everytime you see a women

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The power to perform the Kali Ma sacrificial ritual on yourself.

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The ability to goatse instantly

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The ability to turn incredibly ugly in a beauty padgent

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the power to drive a car with no engine

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the ability to laugh like george bush

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The power that everytime someone sneezes, a living porpoise erupts from your anus.

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the power of being republican

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the power to attract bullets.

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The ability to think the world is flat

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the power to be able to find you pointless super power post after its been posted to check on popularity

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the power to burp a fart

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The power to taste the food you deficate

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Super taste, while living in Mexico.

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The ability to say "MISSING FINGERS" on Shitbrix.com

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The power to enlarge your penis, along with severe cardiovascular disease.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!