The power to kill yourself if there is a bullet in your heart, brain, and liver all at the same time

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The ability to rectify health and safety concerns, using a sword.

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The power to make police appear whilst speeding.

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The power to teleport 13,000,000,000 lightyears but not be able to return.

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The power to find Waldo after the looking at the same page for over 6 hours straight

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to lick your own elbow

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The power to remove your foreskin at any given time

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the abitlity to turn into a duck, but not turn back.....

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the power that will cut off your penis and just growing it back for every hour of your life

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The power to teleport the remote control to you from across the room twithout getting up, but only if your TV is broken.

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The power to swallow thousand liters of sperm without any ill effects.

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Invisibility, but only in the dark.

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The power to read minds only when people are thinking of broken pencils in a bowl full of acid.

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The ability to make everything real, only in your dreams.

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THE POWER TO PREDICT THE PAST

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The power to find any film directed by Uwe Boll entertaining.

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The power to do a back flip by drinking water during a front flip

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The power to teleport to the south pole.

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The power to make high definition photo a hammer (with a red comfortable heated handle with LED flashing lights) appear out of thin air. (Oh, and on a 8"x11" piece of paper of course).

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The power to blink 1.0000000000001 times faster than the average human.

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AXE Body Spray Rituals--Learn Manly Rituals the Girls Can't Manliest Rituals &Get Her Affection

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The power to wake up every morning in a corn field 36miles away from home

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the power to make the imaginary axix the best thinkers ever

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!